As I reflect on this Christmas eve, I know how lucky I am to have the family and friends I have, I miss those who are no longer in my life, I miss my mother, I miss my Dad. I know they are with me, I can’t explain it, I just know. I am blessed to be a mother again when I really didn’t think it would ever happen again. Thank you God for gifting him to me. I have taken very good care of him for you. I know this will be our last Christmas with Buddy and that makes me terrilby sad. He brought me back from the brink many times and I wish there was a way I could repay him. I Hope the years of love and kisses have done some good. I still give him a kiss good morning but he sleeps right through it. Anyway. I hope that this next year brings us all peace and good health and keeps us together as a family. I do love my family. Emily I love you, Destiny, I Love you, Warren, you nut..I love you too. Brent, you’re half my soul and Jackson, you’re are my light, I love you so much. All my friends, Dorothy, my best friend I love you. Thank you for listening to all my rantings and crying and goofyness. And here’s to another year of that same thing. Ha ha. Thanks to all to have touched my life and Merry Christmas to all!!!

Love Cindy

Well not so good news on the knee. It’s still pretty fractured. It’s really obvious on the xray. I was surprised. I thought it would be better but now but it was the same. The doctor said 4 more weeks for another appointment, he hopes it would be better by then. At least some improvement. I feel sorry for the little guy. In the meantime he’s really pooring himself into his music. He loves playing his sax. He’s good considering he never picked up an instrument before the beginning of he school year. He’s such a good boy, I just love him to death.

Is it breezy enough for you? Man and this heat wave….yeah RIGHT! I’m sooo cold I’ve had one of those slankets around me all day. Of course having the FLU will do that to you. That’s right, the flu. And no…not that kind of flu, the good old stomach flu. I’ll leave it at that. I do feel better today though. We had to take the dog and cat to the vet. The cat has had a bladder inflamation/infection thingy and she has chrystals in her urine and all so now she’s on special food with prednisone and my check book is dwindling. The dog is fine, he just went for a check up. He’s been on a diet and we wanted to make sure he hadn’t lost too much but he’s right on target. Labs can get really fat and he was so we switched his food and excersised him lots more and he’s lost about 25 lbs. Sarge is a good boy. The only thing is, he eats so fast and he gobbles up so much air when he eats….well…lets just say it has to go somewhere. I have been known to run from the room in my nightgown at 10pm because of his “problem”…but Doc told us a few tricks on how to stop him from gulping so much. God I hope it works. I have cans of Glade in every room I swear to God. If I could I would carry them in my pocket. *sigh*. You should have seen Dr. Ferkings new puppy, it was so tiny…have wienie dog and have chiquaqua (?) I can’t spell that word. Little Lola. Jackson fell in love with her and carried her around the whole time we were there. Yes I know..that’s just what I need is another dog. Well…..? I love them. I worry so much about Buddy. He just turned 15 in October and sleeps most of the day. Eats, shits and sleeps. That’s it. It’s a miracle he’s made it this long but we’ve taken care of him so well the doctor said his heart is still good. I know other things are breaking down though. I can see it. He’s pretty much blind from the cataracts and he’s completely deaf. You have to do hand signals for him. He’s slow walking but he still gives the best kisses. There will never be another kisser like Buddy. He came into my life when things were really bad and because of him I got through a lot of stuff I don’t think I could have managed but…he was someone who loved me and I had to take care of him. It was just him and me. We grew up together I think. I love that dog. When the day comes that he leaves me, a big piece of my heart will go with him. I dont know how I’ll handle it. I”ve had to put many many dogs down, cats too. Every time I think it will get easier but it never does. I totally lose it but this time, I’m not sure if I’ll ever get over it. Buddy was sent to me by an angel and he was a wonderful gift, on loan but the time is coming. Sometimes I sit beside his bed and read or just talk to him. I know he can’t hear me but he knows I’m there. Every once in a while he’ll come up to me for me to pet him. Oh I love him so much. Then he goes back to bed. OK enough of this depressing stuff. The wind is about to come right through this window I swear……BRENT!!!! *sigh*…My office is all windows so if I end up in the land of OZ it was nice knowing you.

There is one downside to having a fairly large family…Christmas. I finally got my packages mailed today and I mailed them express which cost me my left you know what…BUT they will be there by tomorrow. Jackson even mailed a little something to his favorite Karate instructor. He misses him so much. And since Jackson has been injured he hasn’t been in Karate and is so afraid he won’t catch up. I told him to stop worrying. I’m sure he’ll catch up. These things happen. That damn place out there. UGH!!!! I just can’t stand to take him back there. But Mr. Holenbeck said to stick with it for him and that’s what I’ll do. That man made more of an impression on Jackson than anyone I know. Jackson really looked up to him. I wish I knew why OH WHY they let him go….because they are stupidly f____ked up in the head. Hey…my blog remember? Anyway, the tree we had? Well it died. So we pitched it out on the back deck and now we have another tree that is just perfect. I swear I do the craziest things but if I didn’t I would’nt be ME I got this crazy tree from Oregon or some place like that..it came and it was gorgeous!!!! Until the day after we got it, it dried up and died!!! I swear to God. So I called them, chewed them out, talked like a sailor and they gave me my money back…..hey..it worked. Ho! Ho! Ho! Well I take Jackson back to the Dr.’s on the 17th to see if the fracture has healed at all. The knee is very hard to heal. We shall see. I feel so sorry for him. Anyway…until next time. Be cool!

AAAAA-CHEW!..*sigh*….Ok, I’ve have enough of this head cold. I haven’t been able to sleep. I feel like I have a knot right in the middle of my forehead. My mouth gets dry because I have to breath through my mouth. My friend Dorothy told me to put Vicks on the bottom of my feet and put my socks on. It didn’t work. My eyes are half open and watering. Thank God for Puffs Plus. Jackson is acting like a little butt today. I hate being sick because I have too much to do and if I try and do it…my head starts spinning around and I have to go lay down. My ears are stopped up so when Brent starts talking to me I have to go …uh???? Oh well. It should be over soon. I was supposed to go to a Christmas Party today but no…I just can’t and it wouldnt be right in spreading this around. Ok, until next time!