Asking for prayers for my daughter Destiny. She’s going through some struggles and trials right now and can use some angels. I love her so much.

Did you know that when you allow someone else’s words or actions to upset you, you’re allowing them to control you? When you say, ” You make me so mad,” you’re really just admitting that their actions have power over you. As long as that person knos they can push your buttons, as long as you keep responding the same way, you are giving hem exactly what they want. Sure, people have a right to say and do things that are upsetting , but we also have a right to not get offended. We have a right to overlook their actions.

In fact, the Bible says that it’s an honor for a man keep “aloof” from strife. In other words, we have to remove ourselves, either pysically or emotionally, from strife and offense. It’s not easy, but we can choose to let it roll off of us like water off a duck’s back!

Remember you don’t need everyone to agree with you all the time. You don’t have to have the approval of others in order to be approved by God. Your job is to be the person God made you to be so overlook offenses and strife so you can life in peace and victory all the days of your life~!

Current Mood: Loving

Joel Osteen, my pastor. I know I know…he’s not really MY pastor you say, oh but he is. I get more strenght and excitment from his sermans that from all the time I used to sit in church all those years. I look forward to Joel. He makes sense and he lifts me up and makes me realize that if you stay in faith God will turn it around. There have been time where I have given up on dreams, promises, the word. But Joel and taught me that if I stay in faith, God will remember me and he remembers the destiny I was created for. I was’nt put here on this earth for pain and suffering and to deal with crap. I was put here for a reason. A very important reason. Maybe the reason is to carry the burdens of others, to be the fall guy what ever. But when my body hurts so bad that I dont think I can go on, I keep believing and I find strength and I keep going. No one really knows how hard it is for me sometimes to keep going. There have been times when I didn’t want to live anymore but God has remembered me and reminded me that I was put here for a reason. Maybe the reason has already passed but I’m still here. I know he’s with me and he see me through dark times. Joel Osteen IS my Pastor because he doesnt preach, he speaks to me in a way I can understand. This guy is great.

My best friend….

I have been neglectful of my blog because I have serious back problems. No one understands unless they have this. I feel so alone right now but….I have my family, Brent and Jackson and that’s all that counts. Very few people have called me since I got out of the hospital except my brother. Yeah Yeah..I know I’m not top priority but shit, you know I’m the first one to call when someone needs help. I’m going to stop doing that shit too. I’m tired of being concerned about family members and friends who would rather I just die and get out of their lives. Yeah..that’s right, that’s exactly the way it is. My son may be going through some rough times in school and that’s not up to par in some peoples minds..I see them roll their eyes, I hear them with their heavy sighs but I love him and he loves me and we are trying so hard and his father and I are together trying to help him. Sometimes I think they are jealous because Jackson has a happy home. I dont give a shit if they get pissed or whatever. He’s MY SON! MINE!!! I made so many mistakes in my other children’s lives and believe me they have NEVER Let me forget it so I’m NOT repeating those. I’m doing everything I can to make sure he’s happy, healthy and has a happy home. I love my husband, he loves me and we’re not ever leaving each other. Jackson is going through some rough times right now. He’s going from a boy to a man and he’s getting attitudes, he’s getting hard to deal with but I know..I know that this is normal and that it doesnt mean he doesnt love me. He’s just having some boy issues and I do understand. When he’s not having a “spell” we talk and he apologizes, he is sorry and he hugs me. He knows it hurts me and he doesnt mean to. SO….”WE are just fine”!!!

I love my entire family but I’ll be damn if I chase them around and beg for their love any more.

I apprieciate the things they do when they do it. The girls took me to breakfast for my birthday, I got to see my baby Cate who I love soooo much. Destiny gave me an adorable gift. It’s a ladies figure with a beautiful black gown and you hang you necklaces and long earrings on there. Very Unique. Emily gave me some nice Bed Bath and Body creams, potions and lotions. which I love. I had a great time that morning but for some reason there was a air of something that I could not pick up on. Like I had done something wrong. I get tired of this.

Destiny was so nice to pick up Brent and bring him to the hospital to pick up my car. I’m glad they didn’t come in with Cate. There are so many awful things that she could pick up in the hospital that I certainly didn’t mind at all.

OH well….time to get a coke. I’m sure I’ll hear about this soon. Most everything is my fault anyway…I’m used to it.